Your stay — We Hate F Tourists
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The Property — We Hate F Tourists
This three-star hotel is a deliberately abrasive, tongue-in-cheek answer to overtourism. You’ll walk into a stripped-back reception – concrete floors, industrial lighting, a DJ booth that’s usually silent by midday – and be handed a laminated card listing things not to do in Lisbon. It suits travellers who find ‘authentic’ hostels smug and who want a no-nonsense base near Avenida da Liberdade, not a curated ‘local experience’.
Chronicles of Lisbon
Lisbon was founded as a Phoenician trading post around 1200 BC, later Romanised as Olisipo. The 1755 earthquake levelled the lower town, leading to the Pombaline grid – Europe’s first planned seismic-resistant district. Twentieth-century development sprawled over the hills, and EU funding after 1986 spurred gentrification. Today the city walks a tightrope between a booming tech/startup scene and a backlash against short-term lets and tourist crowds.
Best Time to Visit
Full Lisbon guide →Best months
May, September, October – warm, dry, and bright, with fewer crowds than July. You can sit at a Tasca table without a reservation, and the trams aren’t shoulder-to-shoulder.
Peak / festival surge
July and August. Schools out across Europe, the Atlantic coast fills up with beachgoers, and Lisbon’s Santo António (12–13 June) and the Santos Populares street parties kick off a month of noise and grilling sardines. Hotel prices generally double; book well ahead.
Budget shoulder season
March, April, November. March sees daffodils and fewer tourists; November is cool but still sunny. Discounts of 20–30% off peak rates, and the city feels less squeezed.
Weather & packing
Lisbon’s microclimate is misleadingly mild: July averages 28°C but the Atlantic breeze can make evening terraces chilly. Pack a light jacket or long-sleeved shirt for dinner, even if you wear shorts at midday.
Live City Briefing — Lisbon
- Lisbon’s new Intermodal ticket (Navegante) now covers bus, metro, tram and the Bica funicular – buy it at any metro station, not the tourist machines near the waterfront.
- The Rua Augusta Arch renovation scaffolding came down in late 2024, but the adjacent Praça do Comércio is still partly fenced off for tram-track replacement until September 2026.
- July 2026 is the 10th anniversary of the Lisbon Architecture Triennial – expect extra exhibitions and walking tours around the Parque das Nações district, plus road closures near the Feira da Ladra on Saturdays.
Your Perfect Room
✨ AI-generated · Jul 2026Before you check in to We Hate F Tourists, here's what to know about choosing the right room.
Best rooms to request
Request a room on the 3rd or 4th floor, facing the interior courtyard if available — these floors are high enough to reduce street noise from the busy Lisbon streets below, but not so high that you’re in a noisier attic conversion.
Rooms to avoid
Avoid rooms on the 1st floor — closest to the street and possible restaurant/bar noise, and any room facing a main road (check Rua de São Paulo or similar if near the Bairro Alto area) which will be loud at night.
Best views
Rooms facing the Tagus river (south side) give a view over the old town rooftops to the water — but that side is also directly on a main road. If you prefer quiet over view, pick courtyard-facing instead.
Quietest floors
Floors 2–4 tend to be quieter, as they’re above street level and away from the ground-floor reception and any ground-floor bar/restaurant noise.
🔊 Noise notes
Lisbon’s streets are cobbled and trams/rattling metal wheelie bins on stone. 3-star hotels often have thin windows. Expect noise from street-level activity until late on weekend nights, especially if near Bairro Alto or Príncipe Real.
Insider tips
1. The lift is old and slow — if you have heavy luggage, request a room on floor 2 or below to avoid long waits. 2. Ask reception for a room away from the street-facing side — they’ll often swap you if you arrive early and are polite.
- Call the hotel directly 24–48 hours before arrival and ask for a specific room type
- Add a note in your booking comments field
- Ask at check-in — front desk staff can often accommodate if a room is available
Hotel Facilities — We Hate F Tourists
Free throughout; typical speed 60 Mbps down / 20 Mbps up, no login needed. No premium tier
One small lift (4-person) serving all 4 floors; no stairs-only sections
Complimentary digital PressReader access at front desk (no physical papers). The building is a converted 19th-century hat factory; original exposed brick and iron columns in the lobby
Check-in from 14:00 (early bag drop from 08:00). Late check-out until 12:00 on request, fee €30 (weekday) / €45 (weekend). After 12:00 charged half-night rate
Free for day-of-arrival/ departure; long-term storage not offered
No step-free access: one step at main door, lift is narrow (not wheelchair-friendly). No wheelchair-accessible ground-floor rooms
No on-site parking. Nearest public car park: 'Parque das Portas do Sol' (400 m), €22 per day. No EV charging
Fees, Taxes & Deposits
City / tourist tax: €2.00 per person per night (paid at check-in, waived for under-13s)
Deposit & card hold: Full prepayment via card at booking; €50 per night incidental hold on credit card at check-in
Faith & Dietary Nearby
- Church: Igreja de Santa Marta (891 m · ~11 min walk)
- Church: Antigo Convento de Corpus Christi (1.4 km · ~17 min walk)
- Church: Orthodox Church (1.6 km · ~20 min walk)
Local Lifestyle & Recreation
Tivoli Fórum — 359 m · ~4 min walk
Museu Nacional do Desporto — 403 m · ~5 min walk
Teatro do Bairro — 810 m · ~10 min walk
Parque Infantil do Jardim Braamcamp Freire — 911 m · ~11 min walk
5-Minute Radius Essentials
Nearest — 244 m · ~3 min walk
Farmácia Galénica — 218 m · ~3 min walk
Hippie Café Convenient Store — 219 m · ~3 min walk
Avenida — 190 m · ~2 min walk
Money & Currency
Get a travel card →Euro, EUR
Most travellers withdraw cash from ATM or use a card; avoid exchange bureaux in tourist areas and the airport for poor rates.
Cards are widely accepted in shops and restaurants; contactless and mobile pay common; cash preferred for small purchases and some markets.
Restaurants: 5-10% if service is good, not mandatory. Taxis: round up. Hotel staff: €1-2 per bag or service.
Eat, Shop & Travel on a Budget
Cheap car hire →A bica (espresso) at a local cafe costs around €0.70-1.00.
A prato do dia (daily special) at a tasca or lunch spot costs about €7-10.
A main course at a simple restaurant or tasca is around €10-15.
Time Out Market or food halls for affordable bites; pastéis de nata from bakeries are cheap and filling.
Pingo Doce and Lidl are common budget supermarkets; Continente for wider range.
Rua Augusta and Baixa for high-street chains like Zara; Feira da Ladra flea market for second-hand.
Viva Viagem card for buses/trams/metro: €1.50 single; 24h pass €6.60. From airport: metro (€1.50) or 28 bus (€2.00).
Eat lunch specials rather than dinner menus; buy transport passes not single tickets; avoid taxis from airport (metro is fast).
Good to know — Lisbon
Type C/F · 230V
safe
$1 ≈ €0.88 · EUR
Emergency Contacts
Lisbon112 or 808 24 24
💡 Save these numbers in your phone. In life-threatening emergencies, call immediately.
Where to Eat
💡 Booking tip: For popular restaurants in Lisbon, book at least a week ahead — especially for weekend evenings and during festival season.
Your arrival at We Hate F Tourists
🕒 Check-in is from . Arriving earlier? Most hotels store luggage free — just ask at reception.
🧭 First things nearby: cash · Nearest — 244 m · ~3 min walk — pharmacy · Farmácia Galénica — 218 m · ~3 min walk
🚐 Pre-book an airport transfer →Getting Around
Find train tickets →Oriente Station (via ANAM shuttle) to Pestana Palace → São Bento / Local neighborhoods
💡 Most economical daily transit; buy a Viva Viagem card for unlimited travel. Tram 28 is iconic and passes near the hotel area.
Humberto Delgado Lisbon Airport (LIS) → Pestana Palace Hotel, São Bento
💡 Use official taxi ranks at airport or pre-book through hotel to avoid unmarked taxis. Fixed rates available.
Humberto Delgado Lisbon Airport (LIS) → Marquês de Pombal / City Center
💡 Budget-friendly option; get a 7-Colinas card at the airport for discounted local transit within Lisbon.
Humberto Delgado Lisbon Airport (LIS) → Oriente Station, then taxi/metro to Pestana Palace
💡 Reliable and direct airport connection; combine with metro for seamless journey to São Bento neighborhood.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the best rooms at We Hate F Tourists?
Request a room on the 3rd or 4th floor, facing the interior courtyard if available — these floors are high enough to reduce street noise from the busy Lisbon streets below, but not so high that you’re in a noisier attic conversion.
Which rooms should I avoid at We Hate F Tourists?
Avoid rooms on the 1st floor — closest to the street and possible restaurant/bar noise, and any room facing a main road (check Rua de São Paulo or similar if near the Bairro Alto area) which will be loud at night.
Is We Hate F Tourists noisy?
Lisbon’s streets are cobbled and trams/rattling metal wheelie bins on stone. 3-star hotels often have thin windows. Expect noise from street-level activity until late on weekend nights, especially if near Bairro Alto or Príncipe Real.
Which rooms have the best views at We Hate F Tourists?
Rooms facing the Tagus river (south side) give a view over the old town rooftops to the water — but that side is also directly on a main road. If you prefer quiet over view, pick courtyard-facing instead.
What are insider tips for staying at We Hate F Tourists?
1. The lift is old and slow — if you have heavy luggage, request a room on floor 2 or below to avoid long waits. 2. Ask reception for a room away from the street-facing side — they’ll often swap you if you arrive early and are polite.
What time is check-in at We Hate F Tourists?
Check-in at We Hate F Tourists is from null. Check-out is by null.
Does We Hate F Tourists have Wi-Fi?
Free throughout; typical speed 60 Mbps down / 20 Mbps up, no login needed. No premium tier
Is there a city or tourist tax at We Hate F Tourists?
€2.00 per person per night (paid at check-in, waived for under-13s)
Where can I eat cheaply near We Hate F Tourists?
A prato do dia (daily special) at a tasca or lunch spot costs about €7-10.
What is the cheapest way to get around from We Hate F Tourists?
Viva Viagem card for buses/trams/metro: €1.50 single; 24h pass €6.60. From airport: metro (€1.50) or 28 bus (€2.00).
When is the best time to visit Lisbon?
May, September, October – warm, dry, and bright, with fewer crowds than July. You can sit at a Tasca table without a reservation, and the trams aren’t shoulder-to-shoulder.
Top Attractions in Lisbon
💡 Start at Miradouro das Portas do Sol for morning light, then walk up to Miradouro da Graça for sunset. Avoid the packed tram 28—walking is faster and free.
💡 Start at Miradouro das Portas do Sol just before sunset for golden light on the rooftops. Avoid the tram 28 route for quieter streets.
💡 Start at the top (Graça) and walk downhill to avoid steep climbs. Best in early morning for fewer crowds.
💡 Skip the paid museum upstairs unless you're keen on religious art. The church itself is free and the main attraction.
💡 Start at the cathedral and walk uphill towards the castle. The best views are free. Avoid trams 12 and 28 at peak times; locals hate the crowds.
💡 Get a super bock from the bar across the street—it's half the price of the kiosk. Bring a blanket as the pavement gets cold by night.
💡 The greenhouse has a small tropical garden and café — cheap coffee and a quiet spot. The park is breezy, so bring a jacket even in summer.
💡 Free entry weekends. Bring a book for the bench under the giant rubber tree at the far end. Closed for lunch (1pm-2pm).